I got up early this morning so that I could get some quick supermarket shopping done before work. That was when I discovered that young Donald was not in his bed and my car was not in the driveway. There were no guesses really as to where he was – with girlfriend Daisy Duck. Donald and Daisy are joined at the hip and together are failing their Year 12 in spectacular fashion. Neither has any practical ambition, not one that actually entails focus and work anyway and all they want to do is spend every waking and every sleeping moment together. Daisy often is sad or ‘depressed’ or is having fights with her mother and at these times, Donald goes running. I assume that this is also what happened last night. In my car.
He had left his computer running so I took the opportunity to check out his Face Book page to see what he has been up to lately that perhaps I ought to know about. Yes, I admit it. I was snooping. Donald is 17 and although he feels that he is akin to an adult and wants associated freedoms etc it is a case of all rights and no responsibilities. There is a fair amount of self-obsessed immaturity. At this stage of his development and while I am fully responsible for him, I do feel it appropriate to have some idea of what he is up to and with whom.
I was interested, no make that disappointed to read that a couple of weeks ago when there was a major incident and he left home for 10 days that he was engaged in a discussion with friends on what had happened. It was a very general discussion but the gist of it was that you focus on what you want, regardless of parent attitude. You then keep pushing and pushing and no matter what the parental response you keep pushing back until eventually you will get your own way.
I wish that he was so focussed about other aspects of his life. It has clarified for me the his strategy that I basically understood, but having it spelt out like that is still a bit in-your-face. To add to my displeasure of course is the fact that he took the car without permission, and this morning I had to use the motor scooter instead of the car on my shopping trip.
I have also just had an email from one of his teachers indicating that he is not putting the effort in and much of what he has told me about his requirements in this subject are not accurate. Misinformation though to be fair, he often gets confused about requirements and does not clarify when he is confused. So not happy.
I realise that I have to just let go of this child and let him crash and burn all by himself and wear the consequences but it is so hard to see your child slide into the mire of their own stupidity. Interested in how others have reacted in similar circumstances.